I have no life.

Or so she said. A few days ago, I was told that I didn't have a life anymore - now that Skye is born. That it (life) is all about her (my daughter). Obviously lacking in tact, I only took offense mildly. It got me thinking, though. 

I do not think that I do not have a life - if she meant partying it up and such. That is not a life. That is a phase that I already passed years ago. I am not judging her with the way she chooses to live her life, I respect that. Her thoughts came from a place where motherhood is an obscure concept, hence the (un)welcome commentary. I'm not going to be huffy and puffy about being a mom and what it entails. People choose what they want to happen in their lives, and that's that. 

I have a life. My life is now about sustaining my daughter's. It is now about being (not just trying) but actually being the best person that I can be for her and her future. It is about our family. To love and nurture. I chose this life. It is well worth it.

Yes, mostly it is about Skye. Her cries for milk and snuggles. Her milky drool all over me. Her baby smell and breath. Her coos and giggles. Her smiles and her satiated face. But, I don't forget me. Skye is top priority, but there is still me. The "me" who has her own needs and wants. I still take a shower daily, if possible. I still have baths. I still bake, cook, craft, shop, get pampered. I'm still a little selfish about "me" - and that is fine. Before you can love others, you have to love yourself - the same goes for caring. 

I have a life, but thanks for saying that I don't. It made me ponder and realize that I am really content with where I am and what I have. It may not be your idea of a "life" but it is mine and I love it!

Postpartum depression

I was so afraid of having postpartum depression. I knew it was highly probable that I would have it. So i made sure that my husband was informed about what it is. 

PPD is no joke, and I wanted to be sure that I would not hurt myself or our baby. I can say that the first month after giving birth was the hardest part for me. Adjusting to the thought that I am no longer the same. That my life and its purpose has been irrevocably changed - it was immensely threatening. I took on a challenge that I wasn't sure if I can handle. I was worried about my state of mind, body, spirit and making sure our offspring is okay. 

I had my placenta encapsulated, as it helps with PPD. And I think it did, plus the support of my husband and stopping my pain medication for my c-section. After the first month, I knew it was better. I still didn't know if I was doing things right but we'll be okay. I have to relax and know that I am doing my best for our daughter. Our best. And it will always be our best, when it comes to her.