Poops and pees

I am the mother of a projectile pooper.

There I was, confidently changing her diaper. Thinking I had it down pat. Once I removed the soiled one, that one second where there was no barrier/protection - our baby shot out a straight line of poop. Like a water gun. It hit the wipes container, her crib - about 4 feet maybe. It was a sight to see! I wish I had a video of it.

Lesson learned: no dilly-dallying. Dirty diaper out, really quick clean diaper in. Doesn't have to be immediately perfect, just make sure you have that protection. 

I Feel Inadequate

Today, my husband went back to work. I am scared.

I'm all alone with our daughter.

I've been breastfeeding for almost two hours. I'm tired and sleepy. I'm getting impatient and I have to pee.

How can other moms handle more than one kid? 

I feel inadequate. I don't know what I'm doing. 

Am I capable of being a good mother? 

I was thinking that it was better when I was still pregnant, I did not have to worry about feeding and burping and changing diapers. I was sleepless, but I was free to do things. Unlike now, I'm sleepless and stuck in our bed/couch feeding/soothing/changing baby. We eat one meal a day because we haven't established a routine yet. 

I look at her face, and I feel so much love. The need to protect and give her all she needs. But, I also need to rest. Oh the the tumultuous feelings. 

What else can I do but cater to my offspring. We decided to have her and bring her to this world. In the palm of her tiny chubby hand, she has us under her control. Lots of complaints here, yes. But it is worth it. She is a wonderful gift that deserves to be taken care of. So precious. 

I know it will come, where we have an established routine and things won't feel as scary anymore. But, for now, I am horrified and totally outside my comfort zone.